Saturday, February 20, 2010

Options and Possibilities

Lately we've been considering ways to start our family. There has still been no luck getting pregnant. I've taken four cycles of Clomid with no results, and we've gone a couple months with out it, and again no results. So it's time we start looking at other options, which include further fertility treatments and adoption. I've already set up another appt with my dr to see what the next step(s) is. It will probably be tests to see if we can figure out any reasons for me not being able to get pregnant. That appt isn't until March 11th though, so I can't really say what will be done there. Just thinking about options though, there isn't much more we can do that the military will pay for. They will pay for tests to diagnosis the problem, and any treatments/surgeries to try and correct it, but they won't pay for any procedures like IVF and such. There are four military hospitals that will do IVF, but we still have to pay for it out of our pocket. And while it can be considerably cheaper than having it done at a civilian clinic, it still starts out costing about $4000. And that doesn't include any travel, lodging, or other expenses that may occur if we are not stationed close by. All these hospitals have waiting lists too. And depending on the place, it can be from 6 months to a year, if not longer. And from what I understand, if it doesn't work the first time you have to go back on the list and wait to try again. I may be wrong about that though. It would take talking to the actual clinic to find out how all that works. That's where our other option comes in - adoption. We know this isn't a quick fix. It can take just as long and be just as trying. But if we can't get pregnant, and we know we're supposed to have kids, that doesn't leave us with much choice. We went and talked to someone at the legal office this past week, but he didn't really tell us anything I hadn't already learned online. (Believe me, I've done a lot of research on both options. I love google!) I've also already contacted the LDS Family Services to see what we can do while we are still here in Japan. We will go through them, if we do decide to go through with adoption. We will do a stateside adoption. The process to adopt a Japanese baby is very long and time consuming, and with only having a year left over here, we would really be pushing it. It's really expensive to adopt a Japanese baby/child too. With the LDS Family services, their fees are based on your income. We figured it out the other night, and it would actually cost about the same to adopt a baby as it would to do one IVF treatment. And personally, I think I would rather go through the adoption process than IVF. It is so emotionally exhausting for me to do treatments month after month and not see any results. Which is kinda why we've stopped really trying for the time being. I've heard it all from "it will happen when you stop trying" to "it will happen when you least expect it" and all the stories of people who found out they were pregnant after finishing and turning in all their adoption paperwork. So who knows, maybe I will be one of those people. All I know is that I'm meant to be a mom, and it's just a matter of making it happen. I guess until then I just have to settle with getting my baby time from friends' babies. :)

3 comments:

Denise said...

You guys are going to be wonderful parents, and it really doesn't matter how children come into your lives. We support you in any decision that you make. We have a few friends that have used LDS services, one very recently, and would love to give you some contact information if you have any questions.

Sage Hanks said...

Hang in there! Our prayers are with you at this time. I know it's hard but hang in there. whatever you decide... you will be an amazing mother. I currently work for 6 OB/GYN's. I understand the process you have had to go through. Here's another thought. If you do IVF.... there are lots of labs, and Ultrasounds that they have you do throughout your pregnancy. Cost wise it's EXTREMELY expensive... ok maybe just at St. Lukes. I also see lots of children who are born into families that don't want their babies. It's a tough decision. Let the Lord help you decide. LDS family services is a GREAT resource. Let me know if I can help with anything... or if you have questions. Love ya!

Holly said...

I think it shows so much faith on your part that you continue to forge on and be positive..look at the title to your post-- Options and possibilities... that's looking on the bright side. And you'll blessed for enduring this trial with patience, I know it.
Anyone who can handle nursery kids in a crackerbox of a room (with marginal air conditioning)at Fort Irwin on a 110 degree Sunday is destinted for parenting greateness. YOu even did with a smile.
I am sorry this is so hard.
When (not if) your babies do come you can count on me for some portraits!