Christmas and Other Stuff

I feel like such a slacker when it came to Christmas this year. It's usually my favorite holiday, but I was just having a hard time. We didn't get to go home like we were hoping, so I was really bummed about that. I didn't send out Christmas cards or gifts to friends like I have in the past. We didn't get our extended family's presents sent out until Christmas Eve. Money has been tight so we didn't do much in the way of gifts, which isn't a huge deal. We did get Kaylin a few toys, which she loves, mostly because I would have felt like a horrible mother if we hadn't gotten her anything for her first Christmas. Not that she'll remember it, but I will. I really didn't even take any pictures of her first Christmas. I snapped a few of her playing with the connecting rings we got her, but that's about it. We did go to church where they had a nice Christmas program. It was mostly music with a few scripture readings in between. It was nice though. And I did call and talk to my mom, which is always great. But overall, it was just a pretty quite holiday around our place.
Ben isn't doing so great. His pain is back up in the 8-9/10 range. We made a trip to the ER the week before Christmas. Not that they could do anything, but he needed something for the pain. All they did was give him some stronger pain meds then sent us home. We got in touch with his pain doctor a couple days later (he had been on leave back in the states), and were able to get in to see him. He increased some of his regular meds and then put him on dilaudid and morphine instead of the roxicet. It's really not helping. He still really hurts. He was supposed to have surgery this past Friday to fix his stimulator leads, but they had to cancel it and reschedule it for the 27th. I guess the case before him had stopped breathing after receiving propothol (like Ben did last time), but they were having trouble reviving this guy. I'm really starting to think the anesthesiologists here don't know what they are doing... So needless to say, he's still hurting. His dr is supposed to call tomorrow and we'll go see him sometime this week. Probably Wednesday, since that's when his follow up appointment was supposed to be. Hopefully we can figure something out. It shouldn't take this long to get him into surgery. By the time it happens, he'll have been in pain for over 2 months again. It's ridiculous! It's stupid how long it takes to get anything done. That's enough ranting though. As you can tell, it's a bit of a touchy subject right now. So other than hurting, he's doing alright.
Kaylin is doing good. I can't believe she'll be 4 months later this week. Her 4 month appt isn't until the 25th though, so I don't have any exact stats right now. But she is getting big, and is such a character. She's been sleeping great at night. Once or twice a week she'll wake up between 3 and 4, but other than that she's been sleeping a good 7-8 hours at night. Which is wonderful! She's been pretty moody lately. Crying and screaming a lot. I think it might be the teething. She drools every where and thinks everything has to go in her mouth. Or it could just be that I'm so worn out that it just feels like she cries a lot. So other than that, she's doing great. We still love her to pieces and her smile still melts my heart, even when she's driving me crazy.
As for me, I'm doing my best to hang in there. Some days are better than others. I really could just use a break from it all. Doesn't look like that will happen any time soon though. I've been working on my photography class. I finally got my first unit pictures taken and mailed in. I wasn't super happy with them, but I have to work with what I have. They highly recommend using a DSLR camera, and I just can't afford one yet. I've been working on selling what Mary Kay product I have left, but it's been kinda slow. But anyway, the first project is done and turned in. My goal is to finish the course by the end of the year. I don't plan on it taking that long, but that's what I'm working on. I also had to have an ingrown toenail removed. OUCH! It had gotten infected and just wasn't pretty. They ended up removing the whole toenail. That wasn't fun. There was one part of the toe that didn't want to numb up very well, so I still felt a little. But I did survive. And although it's ugly now, it is feeling better for the most part. Still a bit sensitive on the top where the nail used to be, but other than that it's alright. All in all though, I'm doing alright though. Really can't complain too much.
So that's the extent of the excitement around here. Which really isn't much right now. It's the same ol' same ol' day in and day out. Sometimes that's just how it goes though. :)